If You Want Me To

Several weeks ago we were driving home when the song “If you want me to” came on the radio. It spoke to my heart in ways that I can not even begin to describe. We have all been through our own personal trials, each one teaching us a lesson and changing who we are as individuals. Thinking over the last four years of my life, I am humbled by all of the challenges Lane and I have faced.  I was a very bitter and angry person during this time and I am so so thankful for all of my sweet friends and family who stood by my side and prayed over Lane and I. My anger and bitterness began to fade when I learned I was pregnant yet again. I had no idea the magnitude of the blessing God was bestowing upon me and Lane. There were days when I found myself quickly sinking into that dark hole of self pity but God would always send subtle reminders that He was by my side When that blessing suddenly entered this world 2 weeks early I knew right away how special this gift I had been given was. All of that anger and sadness was washed away. All of the questions of “why me” had suddenly been answered and for the first time in my life I understood God’s powerful and unfailing love. Almost two years later I am able to look back at that dark hour of my life and thank God for bringing me through that darkness. I know that He put me in that place during that time in my life because of a greater plan He has for me and my family. Though I may not understand it all, I know God never makes mistakes and I would do it all over again if He wanted me to.